Bill Cipher

ALRIGHT KIDS TAPE YOUR EYEBALLS OPEN and light SOMETHING ON FIRE because for the first time in 1,000 years you're about to get a GLIMPSE BEHIND THE GREY CURTAIN OF REALITY into the KALEIDOSCOPIC ANARCHY THAT LIES BEYOND! HISTORY'S GREATEST SAGES would TRADE THEIR BLOOD AND LIVESTOCK for an opportunity to SEEK MY UNHOLY KNOWLEDGE but instead I'M GIVING IT TO YOU- THE EAGER, PASTY, ANTISOCIAL TROLLS OF THE INTERNET! WHY? FOR THE SAME REASON PROMETHEUS GAVE MAN FIRE- TO WATCH HIM BURN!

FOR the next 60 MINUTES you can GRASP the UNKNOWABLE with your CHUBBY LITTLE HUMAN FINGERS and ask me ANYTHING YOUR SICK MIND DESIRES! YES, even YOU Chris!

*ANYONE WHO PHOTOGRAPHS THEMSELVES WEARING A TIN FOIL HAT WILL BE ANSWERED FIRST!

*I WILL TAKE OFFERINGS IN THE FORM OF BENT FORKS, DEFACED DOLLAR BILLS, OR RECORDED SCREAMS!